Mistreating grace

Two days ago, I attended a Katy Perry concert and it was off the hook and it is the best ever concert I have been to among all my concert experiences. Furthermore, it was the standing area, even better right?

Or so I thought. People keep pushing each other, touching each other, squeezing each other. I felt rather uncomfortable, getting agitated, annoyed, angry, frustrated, tired, not to mention half deaf from all the screaming.  I was thinking, if I let this emotions takes its course and I actually unleash it, it wouldn't be pretty would it?

Then a thought flashed up in my mind. God always knew I have problem tolerating people and always treat every little actions of other people as an insult to my wellbeing when it is not so. Even when they are just glancing around, mini dagger-like thought would attack and make me incredibly insecure and uncomfortable, planting seeds of doubt and insults, trying to bring me down, rendering me worthless in the eyes of people. Somehow I recalled the devotions I read not too long ago that says:

The Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves; Hebrews 12:6

That correction process takes time and even though sometimes we know our flaws and weaknesses, instead of seeking God to change that in us, we tend to ignore it and shove it aside, having the mentality that we would be able to handle it whenever it comes about. But I can honestly say that any actions by our own strength will be in vain. I have issues with people being too sarcastic until that sheer mask cover their true self. It is just too hard to reach out or relate to them. I know I am being judgmental here but that is my baggage I guess. People being fake and just putting on a show. When you ask them something, you need to ask them twice because their first answer is not a genuine one. It is very draining and energy consuming. Also another issue I am facing is just dealing with offense. Some people are just so freaking oblivious to their thoughts and actions because they are not observant enough to see it just right in front of their eyes.

God will correct these problems Himself first before using other people and circumstances to correct us. It is hard to accept and swallow our pride to know we are wrong, especially through others. However whatever corrections God made, either through Him or people, is for our own good, for our Lord God is faithful and good and perfect.

My correction lesson is:
1. Do not take offense from people actions and thoughts and words; instead take it as something constructive and appreciate it
2. Do not be sensitive to everything
3. Tolerate people; their good and not-so-good characteristics

The next day after the concert, I felt ridiculously ill. Before that, I was kinda on the verge of falling sick. But now it is official. The virus has invaded my body system and so the war begins. A microbiological war that is. However there is another battle that is happening right now as well. The spiritual battle. This is the first time that I felt a huge surge of thoughts rushing into my thoughts. The spirit of offense, the spirit of envy, the spirit of pride, the spirit of bashing people up, the spirit of unworthiness, the spirit of insults. Bombarding me with thoughts after thoughts, not letting me go. This spiritual bombardment actually intensifies when the illness kicks in and I have never felt such thing before. The Devil is a crafty being and will seize any opportunity to bring you down. And unfortunately, I fell so hard yesterday until I felt my spirit broke into a million pieces. I didn't feel the presence of God, I felt so empty, sick, deprived. No guilt, no grace, no love, no mercy, nothing. Just an empty void of space.

Then today, I woke up and I just read 'Our Daily Bread'. Guess what is the topic? It is "Abusing Grace?". I was blown away by the topic and felt it really touched my heart, based on my circumstances I have experiencing these few days. I do feel that way. I do feel that I am abusing the grace of which our Lord God has graciously poured upon us. His abundant love. His everlasting love.

As Paul puts it, in Romans 5:20, where sin abounded, grace abounded much more. However as assuring that is, as Jude says in Jude 4, it is possible to change the grace of our God into a license for immortality. I can't help but thinking this verse was meant for me right now. To have the mentality to commit a sin and then go to God for forgiveness and then to sin again, that sounds so appealing. Imagine to live a life of sin, yet we can still go to heaven, knowing all our sins have been cleansed. We can do whatever we want, which is true, as God has permit us to do so, but will that be pleasing in the eyes of God?

In Romans 6, Paul spoke directly to the point. “Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound?” He gave a short, explosive answer: “Certainly not!” (vv.1-2) and used an analogy that starkly contrasts death and life. “How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?” (v.2). No Christian resurrected to new life should be pining for sin but rather hate sin for all the destructions it will have upon our life. It also destroys our relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Do not let sin reign in your mortal body; Hebrews 6:12. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit so lets keep ourself holy and pure. Let us worship our Lord through our actions, not merely our words. No matter how weak we may feel or how low we feel of ourself and of our life, let that pain and suffering be insignificant compared to our relationship to Jesus Christ.

Remember this: God does not save us by grace so we may live in disgrace

Therefore I really encourage you guys to read it because it really relates to everyone no matter where we are in our life.

Excerpts from Our Daily Bread (30.4.2011)

The Peace of God

Isaiah 26:3-4; You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal.

Today's Our Daily Bread (ODB) is connected with us dealing with procrastination in life. About we keep delaying important matters at hand in our life. And it really speaks to me. My heart has never been this anxious, uneasy, restless ever I think. With assignments due on Monday, and got disbanded from my audit team, I felt that the world was seriously against me. I felt so ridiculously lousy. I felt that I cannot handle this form of pressure at all. Not only I wasn't coping with anything at hand, moreover I felt that I was lacking behind my studies. Doing my tutorials work at the last minute.

Yes, numerous times I asked God to help me in my assignments. Help me to remove this anxiety that has been stirring in my heart for the past few days. And everything was in vain. I felt that my heart was getting heavier and heavier as the day passes by. I even went to the point of scolding God of questioning Him for how He has laid out my life as so. I was bitter. Towards God, towards myself and towards people.

Thankfully, on Wednesday, my friend agreed to form a group team with me for audit unit, so I felt really relieved. Yet my heart was still uneasy and pounding even harder than before. Even during yesterday bible study, I still wasn't feeling God's comfort and His love at that point. But I was on a verge of recovery I guess I could say that.

Today has been a barrier-breaking moment for me. Only I read today's devotional, I truly understand His nature, His word and His promise. Truly I soaked myself in His words, soaked myself in His presence. As the verse stated above, through God, your heart will be put to peace and I felt it today. That He will telling me that He will remove all these anxiety and do not worry for He has this assignment in His hand and all you have to do is finish the assignment and He will provide. He is our shepherd, He goes before us, knowing the things that is ahead, that is installed for us in the future. Yet we failed to grasp that concept. As Jesus says in John 14:6, He is the way, the truth and the life, no one goes through the Father except through Him. I felt His hand picking me, a minuscule being, that I may conquers mountains that I will be heading during my time here on Earth. His big, amazing, mighty hand protecting me and lifting me up, that I may not be weary, I may not be tired, that I may sore like eagles in the sky. So praise God for instilling peace once again in my heart.

As Philippians 4:6 puts it,
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.


Verse 7 is the pivotal verse that says that,
 "and the peace of God, Which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus".
Verse 7 is so comforting and reassuring that Jesus Christ is our deliverance and our salvation.

I was also reading another devotional written by Joyce Meyer about a new heart. She quotes from Ezekiel 36: 26-27 that says:
 "A new heart will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you, and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh. And I will put My spirit you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you shall heed My ordinances and do them"

This verse is so encouraging that through what Jesus had done for us, we are relinquished from the binding of the old covenant and entered into the new covenant and we are able to have a perfect relationship with God. Through that, God has promised to send His holy spirit to reside within us. For our body is His holy temple. He is inside our heart. Inside our soul. One with our spirit. When He lives within us, that how we can communicate with Him, enable us to hear His voice, give us godly strength to do things we cannot do by our own strength and give us power to obey what He says to us even though we are less than inclined to do so. He is so close and near to us and you can really look forward to have mind-blowing fellowship with Him when you pray. Imagine that the creator of heavens and earth is dwelling with our body?? That kind of a crazy concept but it's true!

Sometimes, we have the tendency to forget to acknowledge His presence in our life, due to our extremely hectic life and overwhelming events or activities that consume our life and us in the process. We have the mindset that we have everything in tact and we will handle everything. That is when we become the master of our life, not Jesus anymore. And yes it is very dangerous web to get tangled in and I admit that I have been stuck there before numerous times. Yet it is so assuring that even though we may have gotten ourself in the wrong track, we can still come back to God and He will forget us and will guide us once more because of His mercy and His everlasting love. As 1 Samuel 12:20 quotes:
"Do not be afraid," Samuel replied. "You have done all this evil, yet do not turn away from the Lord, but serve the Lord with all your heart


Don't let yesterday failures bankrupt tomorrow's efforts. That is still a lesson-in-progress for me. But I will stay strong in the word of God and in the presence of God because through Him, all things are possible.