Intervention

I just got back from KPMG. And thanks to Najib and our football team who won the Suzuki Cup after 10+ years, this holiday is well deserved for everyone in Malaysia.

But that is not what I want to take about.
I guess I got shaken up a little today.
Road violence is the right word to use.
I was kinda squeezing through the road and I guess I kinda "touch" another car's body but there wasn't any scratch.
But the other driver wind down his window and asked me "What is your problem?"
I responsed "Nothing is wrong" and after a few (stressful) seconds, he left and on his way.

And I am totally scared that he would come back behind me and collide his car with mine.
If you know me, I am a freakingly paranoia type that would exaggerate scenario and think of the worst thing that could happen in my life.

So if a mere man could have such an effect on me, then how much more can God affect me.
We are to fear God and at the same time praise and worship Him.
I sometimes wonder to myself why I don't have enough courage to fear God.
Sometimes I fear God for all the sins I done that I don't even want to go to Him, afraid that He would find out all the wrongs I have done. Although He already knows that we are going to do it even before we do it ourself.
This is so contradicting in some wacky way.

So what I take as today's lesson is that anything can happen anytime, be it today, tomorrow or next week. We are incapable of predicting the future or controlling our present. All we have is God. So we need to find peace in God, to confide all our insecurities, shortcomings to God, to be ever communicating to Him, to treat Him as a stern Father, a loving Father yet the perfect friend. And all the glory is to Him and Him alone.

Let us see in His eyes. Let us bleed like how His heart bleeds. Let us share what He has to offer to the world. Let us feel that He feels for others. Let us drench people in His love as He does it upon us. Let us not judge for He does not judge. Let us be kind and peaceful among each other as He is among us. Let us tolerate all differences as He accepts all with an open heart.

Determination

For starters, this is kinda late but I am now back in Malaysia, the country of humid and hot weather.
And I started my internship in KPMG (corporate hours from 8.30 to 5.30 is kinda long for me) so at least I am not wasting my holiday away like last year plus earning some decent cash. Sweet.

Somehow coming back to the comfort of your home affect me for the good and also for the bad.

First of all, I feels great to be back and see my parents and soak in their love and affection.
I have my car (at last!) and I can drive myself wherever I want.
And I get to eat good food without having me to buy the groceries from Coles and having the hassle to cook it and need to clean afterwards.
Plus I got my own room back and get to turn on my music till my heart desires.

But all this is how I used to lived before I went to Melbourne and now that I am back, I can't seem but to think that I just revert back to my old, safe lifestyle back instantaneously. I feel like I didn't even left for Melbourne and I feel like I didn't even learn anything or even practise whatever I learnt from my time studying in Melbourne. It feels like I have abandoned my Melbourne life and just resume my old Malaysian life.

To be honest, I kinda resent that part of me whereby I just immediately transform back to old self. Lazy, afraid, self retained, self centred, not open. All these bad traits which I have traded off in Melbourne, it seems to be back and the good trait seems to be left back in Australia.

I want to determined again. I want to be hardworking. I want to know what is upmost priority first in life. I want to be friendly. I want to be open again. I want to be ridiculously friendly again. I want to be the Ian in Melbourne which I have learn to be and love, not the Malaysian Ian.

But above all, the worst part about the Malaysian Ian is that I have became lazy. Lazy in my relationship with God. Because I have become so comsumed with my old life that I have literally stop practising all those things I learnt from Melbourne.

I prayed less, I rarely do my daily QT nowadays, I rarely talk to God, I rarely put God first in whatever I did in life. And I resort to my old, bad ways of p*** again, if not more here than in Melbourne. So I just prayed through this post, I will get a revelation, a sign, an omen that it is time to leave my old ways behind and start living according to Jesus.

I have to follow Jesus, lift up my cross daily and turn my eyes upon Him for through Him, only salvation can come. And through Him, He will grant you strength no matter how weak you may be.

Let the weak say "I am strong" and let the poor say "I am rich"

Love

This is was actually yesterday's entry for Our Daily Bread from YMIBlogging.com.

The title is Secured Love.

I just love how she can relate her situation to God's unfailing love and the love that resides in the earth. It is true as we pass our time here on Earth, love will soon fade off among humans. Some of us take love for granted, me being no exception. Sometimes I just take my parents for granted, for all the things they done for you, but you just don't acknowledge them or even a simple thank you. Words can be a very powerful tool too, besides actions of course. So I guess that how God feels about us. He loves us so much that He send His one and only Son to die on the cross for us. Yet we cannot even bother of acknowledging that. How selfish are we that we just keep thinking of ourself. In this fallen world, the only thing that matters is ME ME ME!! That is why humanly love does not last long. For example during times of despair, we don't immediately go through arms and length to help that person. More profound if we just know that person at a marginal level. Yeah love is very hard to sustain in this world. Some friendships die off after some times. Parents and children drift off from each other due to their hectic life and not to mention their career. In this fast-pacing world, it is hard to catch up and just chat.

But God is forever with us to the end of time. And He wants us to love Him as much as He loves us. There is one line that touches my heart in the entry which is:
Once we trust Christ as Savior, the guarantee of God’s love is ours forever.


Yesterday after church, I volunteered for a TeamMonash event called "Around the Bay" whereby 16,000 people participated. And I and a couple of my friends are assigned to be on the cheering squad. So all of us just screams our lungs out and just make massive noises to cheer those bikes that been cycling for like 100km and are almost reaching the finish line. And somehow of every motivation lines you can come up with, guess what I said? I don't know because I am an introvert most of the time, but given this opportunity, I just did it. I told those cyclist that comes by us, I said that "we loves you". My friends keep telling me "say I love you, not we lah". Haha. But I couldn't care less. I believe all of us should love everyone as said so in the bible. You can put up a smile on people faces when you just stand there cheering them on, knowing people do care about them. I believed that how God feels all the time. Cheering us on whenever we are obedient to Him and just be still and be obedient to His words. And when we do work of ministry, the whole heavens and all of the angels along with God are cheering for us. How awesome is that!! Even more we should not neglect our purpose here on Earth, which is to spread the gospel, make disciples of all nations and baptising them in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit (Matthew 28:18).


God is all about love. God is love. So praise Him that He will help us and bless us in every situation in all that we do, knowing His abundant love will pour upon us till the end of time. Jesus wants you to know that it is ok to bring all your problems to Him no matter how big or small because through His love, He will empower us and strengthen us in everything we do. Imagine the overwhelming love when we rejoice with Him in heaven. I just can't wait. 


Last quote from the entry:
Abide in my love - John 15:9

My daily struggle

Today, overall, is the worst day ever. You know why?
The weather totally bums me out!
So heavy rain, so windy, so cold!!! Brrrrr.....
Reminds me of monsoon season back in Malaysia!
You called this spring! Ish... LOLX

Anyway today I somehow felt indifferent and still have my daily struggles, today a little more indulging than other days. I hope I can control myself for it is so hard to contain it. And without Harvey to keep me account every week, I pray that I can overcome this. If not, I am not sure how my life would go on.

Not before I will make that big blunder that I would regret the rest of my life.

This is the verse I have been trying to apply in my life yet still failing: God please give me strength.

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature, sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed which is idolatry - Colossians 3:5

Our Daily Journey

The topic for today talks about "what matters most".
Readings took from YMIBlogging.

What is your priority in life? What do you treasure most in this lifetime? What you wish you could have more than anything else? What is the one thing that without it, it would drive you crazy?

It could anything from like maybe a job, a spouse, children, a house, the usuals.
Then there are those more severe one such as drug addiction, alcohol, sex, pornography, etc.
Or those little things such as that engagement ring, that teddy bear that had been with us since we were four.

Whatever it is, people always perceive earthly possession as what to value most.
However the world always tries to purport our thought to what it wants us to purports.
And what matters most should be what makes you happiest and bring you most satisfaction.

But that is completely out of the point of what we should actually be focusing on.
We should put Jesus as what matters most and whether He would approve of what we are doing. Focusing on what would Jesus do in such a scenario.

So the question for today is:
What matters most to you in life? How does the brevity of life affect your relationship with God? With others? 


Honestly, God, what matters most to me is just passing through each day, knowing that I made good and full use of that day, which I keep failing every time. So I am kind of a hypocrite. Apart from that, family and friends are pretty important to me. And then comes my obsession with shopping. I just cannot help myself. It is like you like the day you bought it and after that, you get tired of it. Sometimes I loathe myself for that trait I possess.

I wanna make Jesus the centre of my life. I need to pray more. I need to read more of God's word. So I can feel that immense love that God has for all of us and this will encourage us to focus on God and put him at the top of our list and everything else seems so insignificant in comparison. That's how I want my life to reflect. Whereby what matters most is God and no one else. Glorifying Him. Having a real relationship with Him. Expanding His kingdom. Ministering at the marketplace. Excelling in all that He has blessed me with.

The brevity of life is apparent to some whereas some people are oblivious to it. To me, I feel that life here in Australia passes so fast. Next year I will be going back to Malaysia for good. Just leaving Compass, Student Life. I just cannot imagine how will my life be back in Malaysia. I don't want this life I have in Australia to end. Life is too short. Life is too short for me to stop being around such awesome people such as Jo, Pastor Phill, Chris Teo, Caleb, Caroline, the list is endless. God has been nothing but generous in His blessings that He keep pouring onto me. I learnt so much from each and every person I come to meet and know and now became good friends. Through the grace of God, I have grown so much in my relationship with God as well with my relationship with people.

I may only be 21 now, but you don't know when will you rejoin with God in the heavens above. So life is fragile in every way, yet it is so precious. Sometimes I do take life for granted. I just need to remind myself that this life of mine does not belong to me, but belong to God. So be always wary in everything we do.

I just want to know God more every single day.
I just want to know the people of God more and more as well.
Like the cross, the vertical line represents our relationship with God and the horizontal line represents our relationship with people of God.

Through the Holy Spirit living within me, I want to represent Jesus to the world that through God's grace, only we can be saved. I want to be the best Ian that God wants me to be in this short journey on earth we all called life.

Tempted not

Another day, another temptation.

I rebuke it.
In the name of Jesus Christ.

Slumber party/PJ Party/Guys' Night In

Whatever you called it, it was a blast!
Thank you Caleb! (If you are reading this! LOL)

Anyway yesterday on 30 September 2010, Caleb invited me, Adrian, Lukas and (already leaving in his house for the holiday) Timothy to his house for a sleepover. A PJ party in other words.

Initially when he invited me, I was rather inclined to go because his house is so far whereby it is located in East Melbourne if I am not mistaken. Coz yesterday in the afternoon, I went for karaoke session with the Monash Music Club along with Jeanie, Kin and Zac. So I was a little beat but still standing.

Then I called up Caleb or isit Caleb called me up, and told me that Adrian is coming as well. I was so happy I don't need to use public transport there, so why not? Let's see Caleb and his house. And during my journey, the dilemma of whether getting starcraft 2 was killing me. And since Caleb has Starcraft 2, I could play around with the game at his house and also some bonding. It is a win-win situation. Sweet.

We arrived Caleb's house around 11pm. And they were in the midst of playing Band Hero. So funny. Someone to sing, someone to play guitar. Really awesome but the music was abit too soft since it was rather late at night. I just jumped right into my Starcraft mode while they played some Mario games. We also played some Wii Sports Resorts, tennis, archery, bowling, basketball, table tennis. It was so much fun. So I really enjoyed myself alot.

And we stayed up playing till it was 6 in the morning the next day aka today! Haha. See what games can do to you. And I just love Protoss! Hahahahahahaha...

After that, we slept till 12 (I did anyway, the rest of them woke up around 10 and 11am) and had breakfast for lunch. Lol. Later went to Chaddy with Tim and Caleb. Then met up with Shio Yen. And then met in La Porchetta to celebrate Liang's farewell along with Sara and Valerie's birthday. Unfortunately only Liang showed up among the three. Amongst that came are Irwan, Caz, Liang, Adrian, Shio Yen, Caleb, Fabian, Tim and  me.

After that, here I am, back in the comfort of my own room. Yet I feel that something is missing. A void. Something that does not feel right. The sound of nothingness.

Yesterday night was so awesome until I missed it already. Sigh. Why life does not have to be the way you want it to be? I have never feel this way for a long time already. You feel so belonging whenever you are with good friends, that when it is all over, you feel a part of you is kinda missing and life is not as good as once were. And you try to fill it up with inappropriate conducts. And that just pissed me off. It is so hard to explain in words. That loneliness within me. That the warmness and friendliness of good friends are gone and all left is you and the four walls that confines your room.

This feeling came also today morning as I was the last one to go to sleep. Sleeping them laying sound asleep without a movement or sound in sight makes the sound of my thought ever so loud to the extent of the thought actually hurting me. A thought of realisation that the fun is over and life resumes. That the time of excitement and all game and stress free environment is due to pass and reality rears its ugly head once more. So sometimes I wish I could sit there and not sleep so that the moments would dirift away surely but slowly. I just want that special moment to last forever you know?

I sincerely and honestly believe that this is one of those special nights I will remember forever coz I never had one truly like this before! I'll cherish this moments forever!

So thank you alot Caleb for organising!

And also thank you Lukas, Adrian and Timothy! You guys are unreal! :D

Too often

Too often that I listen to worship song, you can get so into the song but yet forsake and look pass the meaning behind the song.

It is all about God.
It is all about us being a servant of God.
It is all about us relying on God for strength and guidance.
It is all about what Jesus did for all human kind, me and you included.

All so easily forgotten. That's what just happened to me minutes ago.
I just sang the song without thinking about God.
I feel so bad for doing so.

Next time if you are hearing worship song, don't just merely listen to the song like I do.
Talk to God in this time. Have a relational chat with God.
God wants us to do so. God wants us to draw closer to Him.
So just let the Holy Spirit stir your spirit.
Not through the music of the song, but the meaning of the song. The purpose you are singing that song in the first place. The reason this song is being written.

Worship.
For God. By God. To God.

Daily Victory

I felt so compelled yet by the help of the Holy Spirit, He who empowered me kept me away from sins.
It is my daily victory.

Through the strength of the Holy Spirit, anything is possible.

I just want to share this verse with you which means so much to me today:

Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak.
-Matthew 26:41

Praise God.

Worship session

Awesome worship training session!

Pray tomorrow will go all smoothly! 

My Daily View

I feel like such a inconsiderate person. I feel like I have no utter respect for people around me.
I feel like a douchbag. But that is all going to change.

Yesterday I felt that God is trying to communicate with me that all this utter nonsense has to stop. I am not doing what God has made me to. Not being a good stewards of what God has lent me in this life. All that got to stop.
God talks to us in different ways and this is the way God told me.

He said to me:
"Ian, stop being so self indulgence! Stop thinking about your own self satisfaction. Stop thinking this world is self centred around you. Start focusing on the important things. Focus on Me and everything else will fall smoothly. I will always hold you up whenever you fall. So don't worry"

Yes God. I will stop blaspheming. I will stop making so much noise. I will stop wasting time. I will stop myself from getting distracted from what is really important. I will stop being so insensitive. I will stop being so addicted to the internet.

Thank you God for helping me. Just remember that in everything we do in life, we should think and consider this question:
By doing this, am I glorifying God? Am I pleasing God? Am I being a good stewards of God? Am I hurting God? Am I loving God through this?

My Daily View

I noticed that throughout my journey here in awesome Australia, I never really take notice of my surroundings. I am so blessed that God put me here for a specific reason that no human can truly fathom. So tonight, I would just to like to describe small but beautiful parts of life that we live in. Sorry for the broken english.

Walking back from the library after a tiresome afternoon, pavements cascading to the main road with vehicles of all shapes and colours going up and forth the highway.
Crossing the road that separates the university from the nearby field, pet dogs and their owners having fun in the amber colour that radiates the evening sky. Dogs of all kinds mischievously tackle each other and chase after the ball around, what the dogs only interested is having fun and quality time with their masters.
Some people are happily passing the football around as parents and kids alike enjoy the breezy weather of the early spring.
Some people would be keeping themselves fit by having their daily jog around the park. Dedicated with their routine.
Some would be just practising their tennis skills at the tennis court. With their strong forehand and their steady backhand, the ball just go back and forth with such accuracy and precision.
Some evenings aren't sunny but little droplets of rain petter patter on the already moist grass. However the rain seems to be so light until you can barely feel it. Like tender air blowing to keep us company.
As evening settles in and night time spread throughout Melbourne, stars from million light years away dazzles the night's sky each a previous gems of different sizes and illumination.
People, one by one, slowly drives back to the comfort of their home. Students are seen just strolling back home, with their grocery bags, full of healthy and nutritious food.
The evenings never fail to amaze me how life can be so beautiful wherever you are.

Our Daily Journey

Today's question is:
In what area of your life do you think lightly of God by offering Him leftovers? When are you tempted to offer God less than your best? How can you consistently offer Him your best? 


I'll answer this later in the night because I still have my assignment to rush and finish haha.
Till then. Why not you give it a thought or two?


Oh and before you do that, read the passage preceding to the question. It would make more sense as well. Lol.
Click below for the passage!
YMIBlogging: Serving God leftovers

Till later! :D

Our Daily Journey

Every day (almost anyway) starting this week, I been visiting this really good website called YMIblogging.
There is a section called Daily Devotion whereby daily post are published.
So it is like your daily quiet time with God to just get soaked in His words and His presence whereby you get to spend your time to learn the word of God.

So from now onwards, if all goes well, I will try my best to blog daily on what I learnt from the daily devotion. Because at the end of the daily devotion post, there is a question posed to the readers. So I will attempt to answer it here.

Today's question is:
Where have you encountered suffering? How have you experienced God’s presence in that place? 


I am sure that everyone in our life encounter suffering along the way, whether it is of large magnitude or small magnitude. And how this event affect us vary between individuals. And how we response to suffering also varies. So God works in different ways in each one of us.


For me, I encounter more of an emotional suffering. When I was in my primary till early secondary years, I used to get teased due to my overweight body. So I really have low self esteem at that point in time. During that time, I always felt misunderstood by my parents. And often I will cry silently in my room, just wondering if I am all alone in this world and no one understands how am I feeling right now.


I knew God from an early stage but I never truly accepted Christ into my life until this year. But I felt that God helped me through my difficult times through the people that He has let me know and now I just cherish and love them. I joined the librarian team and the quarter master team and from there, God makes His plans. He introduced me to Erik, Chong Yong, Basil, Hui Yen, Shu Ning, Justin that made my later part of secondary school life oh the more memorable. Those moments make me feel I do belong and I have such awesome friends I can count on. And we are still close today even through we all have ventured into our field of interest. 


One of the biggest suffering, or should I rephrase it to obstacles or hurdles, I have to endure is coming to Australia. I was nervous, anxious that I will not be able to cope, as I am going out of my comfort zone. But yet God guided and helped me through. And I could never thank God enough for all the blessing He has poured into my life. For that I am just eternally grateful. God just keep wanting me to grow from the inside out. To be more Christ-like. And I came to know so many awesome people of God such as Caleb, Chris Teo, Caroline, Jing Wei, Jo, Valerie, Fabian, Shio Yen, Pastor Phill, Micheal, Colin, Harvey. The list could go on forever. Through their testimonies and their experience with God, it really uplifts your spirit in that God is working in everyone's life. Testing us to make us stronger in our faith in Him. I can sense God more and more each day.


Romans 8:28 says that "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who loves Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Such a strong yet true statement. So I pray that whatever circumstances you may be in your life, you will get through it through the strength of God. Just trust in the Lord, have faith and be still. 

Yeah it's all good

I just wanna share of my faith to the world.

I want the world to know how God transform my life in each passing day.

Through the good and bad, you know God is there.

So that's why this blog came to existence.

To express my doubt, insecurities within me.

But I know through all and all, I can set my eyes on Jesus and know that God will grant me strength to get me through the day.

Till then, I hope everyone has an awesome week!

Ciao! <3